More Than Wanted
by JohnnyLover
Summary: Songfic! Takes place just after Johnny says goodbye to Squee. While driving during his "holiday", his thoughts turn to Devi.


Summary: Songfic! Takes place just after Johnny says goodbye to Squee. While driving during his "holiday", his thoughts turn to Devi.  
  
Author Note: This is my first songfic ever, so don't be surprised if it sucks. It appears to me to be a little choppy, but I couldn't seem to fix it. The song used here is More Than Wanted (or known as Wanted) by Vanessa Carlton. The first time I heard this song I automatically thought of Nny and Devi. I'm not much for Nny/Devi things because there are just so many of them that I could retch (no offense to those who have written them, some are pretty good, but there are just so many!) and I told myself I would never do anything Nny/Devi related.. but I got the idea and sometimes you just have to run with it, ya know? Please R&R, being my first songfic, I want to know how I did.  
  
Disclaimer: Anything JTHM related belongs to Jhonen Vasquez. The lyrics to More Than Wanted belongs to Vanessa Carlton.  
  
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Johnny drove down the road, to where, he didn't know. The sun was just beginning to go down, the sky coming alive with reds, oranges, and yellows. It looked so beautiful to him. As he drove, the beauty of it seemed to captivate him, drawing him into his thoughts. The beauty the sky created remind him of Devi. He sighed slightly "...Devi."  
  
She was so beautiful, so perfect. He had never truely been happy, she brought that happiness to him and he had to go and fuck it up. He had always wondered if there was anything worth dieing for, he lost it as quickly as he had found it.  
  
  
  
**I have wandered far and wide  
  
For something real something to die for  
  
But I have found you and you do not see  
  
All that is me, all that is true**  
  
  
  
He hated, sometimes, trying to hide who he was from people, like he had to do to Devi. It made him too much for people to see, or want. No one wanted to talk to him if they knew, though he couldn't blame them. He did so many ghoulish things, but they were to people who deserved it. They had hurt him and was amused by his pain, so they deserved everything they got. But just sometimes, he wished there was someone who would see who he was and still want him.  
  
  
  
**And I am more than you will see  
  
And I am more than you will need  
  
And I am more than you will see  
  
More than wanted**  
  
  
  
Why couldn't she just accept him for who he was? Granted, he tried to kill her, but it was because Mr.Eff, somehow, had convinced him to do it. Devi was living in an illusion if she thought everyone was sugar-coated and good, she wasn't always going to meet someone like she wanted. He would never really hurt her, not now. God, how he missed her.  
  
  
  
**And as you float the flimsy surface  
  
You should know life lies beneath it  
  
And dont pretend you feel what I feel  
  
For you live illusion and I'm real**  
  
  
  
She'll never love him now, she closed her heart to him that day. He knew she would always hate him, always be afraid of him. The best thing he could do, both for himself and for her, is forget her.  
  
  
  
**More than you'll love  
  
More than you'll hate  
  
More than you'll have  
  
More than wanted**  
  
  
  
He wished though that maybe, just maybe, there was something that he could do to let her know that he would never try to harm her again. He wanted to hold her, to have her hold him. To have more pleasent dreams of her when he slept, rather then nightmares that left him sweaty and shaken. He needed her so much.  
  
  
  
**More than you'll need  
  
More than you'll dream  
  
More than you'll hold  
  
More than wanted**  
  
  
  
If he could just have her cherish him, have her crave to be in his arms, he would be so happy. A blissfull happiness that he would never ruin, a light so bright that he would hope that it would never go out.  
  
  
  
**More than you'll crave  
  
More than you'll cherish  
  
More than you'll have  
  
More than wanted**  
  
  
  
He just needed to forget about her, he knew that. That was what was best, for the both of them. He had to forget, forget about everything that brought her to his mind. Give her his nothing. That's what he told her, so that was what he would do. But God how he missed her....  
  
  
  
**And I am more than you will see  
  
And I am more than you will need  
  
And I am more than you will see  
  
More than wanted** 


End file.
